Grief & Loss Counselling for Adults & Older Teens (16+)
Virtual counselling in Alberta

Grief isn’t always what people expect it to be, especially when it can come from many different types of loss, not just death. It doesn’t follow a clear path. It doesn’t move in a straight line. And it doesn’t only happen after someone has passed on. You might be feeling something heavy, confusing, or hard to explain and wondering: “Is this grief?”

What Grief Really Is

In simple terms, grief is your response to a loss. That loss can be:

• the death of someone important to you 

• the end of a relationship 

• changes in health or ability 

• loss of stability, identity, or direction 

• family disconnection or estrangement

• life not turning out the way you expected 

Grief is not limited to one type of loss. It can show up anywhere something meaningful has changed, ended, or been taken away (Den Elzen et al., 2023).

There Is No One Way to Grieve

Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone. You might experience:

• sadness, anger, numbness, or confusion 

• waves of emotion that come and go 

• difficulty focusing or making decisions 

• physical exhaustion or tension 

• moments of relief, followed by guilt 

• feeling like you’re “not grieving the right way” 

Grief doesn’t follow a predictable timeline, and it can feel intense, quiet, delayed, or constantly shifting. None of that means you’re doing it wrong.

Grief is a process - not a problem to fix (Worden, 2018).

When Grief Isn’t Recognized

Some types of grief are easier for others to understand, while others are not. You might be grieving something that:

• others don’t see as a “real” loss 

• hasn’t fully ended or resolved 

• doesn’t have clear closure 

• feels ongoing or complicated 

This is often called non-death loss, and it can be just as real and impactful as bereavement. Losses like these can challenge your sense of meaning, self-identity, and stability, often without the same support or recognition (Den Elzen et al., 2023).

Grief Affects More Than Emotions

Grief isn’t just emotional. It can affect multiple parts of your life at once, such as:

• physically ➝ fatigue, tension, changes in sleep 

• emotionally ➝ sadness, anger, numbness, overwhelm 

• mentally ➝ difficulty focusing, remembering, or making decisions 

• socially ➝ pulling back or feeling isolated

• spiritually ➝ questioning meaning, beliefs, or direction 

Grief is a whole-person experience, not something that stays in just one area of your life (Guldin & Leget, 2024).

Why Grief Can Feel So Overwhelming

Grief isn’t only about what was lost. It’s also about what that loss meant. You might be grieving:

• the relationship itself 

• the role that person or experience played in your life 

• the future you expected 

• the sense of strength or self you had before 

Many people also find themselves trying to make sense of what happened: searching for meaning, understanding, or a way to carry the loss forward. This process of meaning-making is a natural part of working through grief, especially when the loss deeply affects how you see yourself or your life (Den Elzen et al., 2023).

How Shelley Works With Grief & Loss

I don’t approach grief as something to move past or resolve quickly. Using both professional insight and personal experience, I don’t move too quickly or try to “fix” it. And there is no measuring it against a timeline. Instead, I make space for it.

Together, we:

• explore what this loss means to you 

• understand how grief is showing up in your day-to-day life 

• create a place for emotions without forcing them 

• identify what feels hardest right now and what needs attention first 

Part of this work may include:

• finding ways to stay connected to what has been lost, while still moving forward 

• working through the parts of grief that feel stuck or overwhelming 

• gently rebuilding a sense of meaning, self-identity, or direction 

• developing ways to carry grief without it taking over everything 

This process isn’t about letting go of what matters; it’s about learning how to live with it in a way that feels a little easier over time. Grief work often involves both processing the loss and gradually adjusting to life around it, rather than returning to how things were before (Worden, 2018).

What Grief Counselling Can Help With

Grief counselling focuses on helping you move through loss in a way that feels supported and realistic. It can help with:

• feeling overwhelmed by grief - by creating space to process it at your own pace 

• feeling stuck or unable to move forward - by gently working through what feels blocked 

• ongoing or complicated grief - by understanding what’s keeping it active 

• non-death losses - by recognizing and validating your experience 

• emotional ups and downs - by learning how to respond to them as they come 

• feeling disconnected - by rebuilding a sense of connection over time 

• searching for meaning - by exploring what matters now 

This isn’t about “getting over” grief. It’s about learning how to carry it in a way that lets you keep living your life.

The goal isn’t to stop grieving; it’s to make space for it without letting it take over every part of you or your life. To understand what this loss means to you, to find ways to move forward while still honouring what mattered, and to feel more able to live alongside your grief, rather than being consumed by it.

If you’re carrying something that feels deep, unclear, or hard to put into words, I am willing to walk through it with you.